fun

Irish humour

Irish people are very famous for their sense of humour. Here are some jokes…

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.


IRISH PHILISOPHY OF LIFE

There are only two things to worry about
Either you are well,  or you are sick.

If you are well then there’s nothing to worry about..
But if you are sick
There are two things to worry about

Either you will get well or you will die
If you get well there is nothing to worry about
If you die there are two things to worry about

Either you will go to heaven or hell
If you go to heaven there is nothing to worry about

But if you go to hell…

You’ll be so busy shaking hands with friends
You won’t have time to worry!


A drunk man enters into a Catholic Church, sees a confessional booth and goes to sit there, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there, in silence. Finally, the Priest knocks three times on the wall. The drunk answers “It’s no use knocking, there’s no paper on this side either”.


An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were taking part in a competition to see who was the laziest of them. There was a prize of £100 for the winner. The Englishman walked up to the judges and said, ‘I’m so lazy I won’t even bend down to pick up money I’ve dropped.’
The Scotsman walked up to the judges and said  ‘I’m so lazy I won’t even walk to the bar when I’m offered a free drink.’
The Irishman lay on the ground where he was and said to the judges in a slow drawl, ‘Roll me over and put the prize in my pocket.’

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